Chocolaty Life

Enough of MBA, life and grievances! Its been more than three months since joining Cadbury and its time now to move beyond the theories of b-school to the practicalities of job. And there's enough news from these three months. I would bring out all the experiences in a series of posts called "Chocolaty Life".
The most easiest format to jot down everything would be to move chronologically. But that would be too boring. So I have decided to make it a connected series of posts with incidents picked at random (so that the traffic doesn't die out :) ).
So lets get going with the series with the first short play.
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Place: Some village in Baddi, Himachal Pradesh
Time: Around 12 noon; sometime in July

Aditya- "Wahan pe kafi saara stuff mil jayega, chalo udhar"
Sunil- "Abe Solanki tune to kafi maal ikattatha kar liya hai"
So, what are we doing and what this stuff/maal is. We are in this village for a sanitation drive organized by one NGO called RUCHI. With masks on mouth and hand gloves we are picking up all the plastics crap that is lying on the streets and filling up our respectives polybags (The same black polybags used for collecting garbage).
The purpose of this drive was to sensitize villagers about the issue. So, we scolded/educated/guided everyone who came out of his house to see that 14 boys and girls from Cadbury were cleaning the street drains and gutters.
Some village lady-"Bhaiya aap safai kar rahe hai kya?"
This was asked to me on seeing me, along with three foreign students (all girls! from England associated with Engineers Without Borders- some orgnization involved with development work for underprivileged nations), cleaning up a gutter.
Same lady-"To bhaiya hamare ghar ke saamne bhi kuch safai kar dijiye"
Me (a little annoyed, the other three couldn't get annoyed because of communication gap :) )-"Haan kar dete hai safai. Aap roz gadagi karna aur hum roz aa jayenge safai karne" (I hope you got the sarcasm intended here)

So, this stuff/maal being talked about is the plastic litter. The drive ended at the village Pradhan's house. We along with the NGO workers explained the problems associated with plastic waste and asked the Pradhan to take forceful actions in this regard.
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*******Next day********

Place: In front of a temple in Baddi
Time: Around 2 in the afternoon

Rajeev- "Paani laao yahan"
Me- "Yaar ye joote uthar ke galti kar di, watt lagi padi hai"
So, what are we doing now?
We are planting trees. Its a plantation drive today and we are supposed to plant around 150 trees. Though we managed to achive only half of the target eventually :)
There was this open field where 3X3X3 holes were already dug and we were to plant the saplings, fill up the hole and water. But it was not that simple task. With the afternoon Sun shining bright and hot it was painful working bare foot. But why bare foot? 4-5 of us thought it would be better to work bare foot and keep our shoes clean. Quite a sensible decision indeed :(
Looking back it was a great experience and a tiring one too.
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So, why are we doing all this?
What is the purpose?
Who has organized the campaign?

These activities were part of the CSR module of our induction at Cadbury India. The particular village was adopted as part of CSR by Cadbury. The campaign was organized by our colleges at Baddi in association with an NGO-RUCHI.


Next Up in Chocolaty Life- "Raju aur Basant ka Atyachaar"

My Grievances: Part II-"HAIR-ka-TEL"

It all started when I decided to take a HAIR-ka-TEL postpaid connection. By simple logic of time value of money, a postpaid should any day be preferred over a prepaid (assuming the rental cost is covered by the call rate difference or other discounts). But then simple logic does not always serve the purpose. Practical experience, more often than not, brings out the clear “filthy” picture. And that was the case with me. The RM showed the various plans available and to get all the required documents. The SIM card was provided on the same day and it was promised to activate the number within four hours. An upfront fee of 500 was charged towards activation. The SIM got activated the next day. The RM came again to take my signature on some document that he missed the day before. But before the poor RM could submit the missing document the HAIR-ka-TEL people found out the mistake and as per their policy of “Zero Errors” my number was blocked. (They must have found out that I was talking way too much on the phone and hence, as a CSR commitment, they blocked my number so as to protect me from excess exposure to electro-magnetic radiations). The number was activated the next day. I again started to exceed the maximum allowable “exposure” limit. This was the limit, of their tolerance. So they found out another way to treat me a lesson. They blocked my account, again, on account of address verification failure. (They actually visited my apartment, “during office hours”, only to find out the care-taker, who confirmed me residing there. But how can they believe him; I should have been there to confirm) So, I was again saved from excess EM radiations. Thanks HAIR-ka-TEL-“the super saviours”.
After 2-3 days they finally verified my residence and my number was up again. Soon the credit limit of 500 was breached and I was told to pay up within 6 hours. (Remember it is a postpaid and I have already paid 500+500=1000 even when I have used only half of this amount). I had to pay.
Since they also care about customers’ family and friends so they increased my credit limit to 1200 so as to enable me “discontinued talktime” for a longer duration. And I breached that limit too!
The next month they again lowered my credit limit to 500 so as to keep a check on my exposure to EM radiations. And on my payment they again realised the customers’ need to socialize and hence again increased the credit limit to 1200. As always I again breached the limit. So I got a message to pay within 24 hours. But I being a lazy guy paid only after 20 hours when I found out that my number was already blocked, AGAIN! (I think they thought that this guy is not going to pay and hence decided to block before the stipulated time; just to be “proactive”)
In between all this blocking-unblocking, my first bill arrived. The RM had given me a hard copy of the bill plan which mentioned two discounts- some local minutes at lower rate “AND” a double digit discount on billed amount. (Please note the AND operator). HAIR-ka-TEL also provided me with the bill plan which mentioned the above discounts in slightly tricky manner as below. The catch was to be found out only later.


So the catch was found out when I received the bill. I was given only the discounted local mins (that worked out to a hefty SEVEN rupees!). Just to mention, the discount billing amounted to a meagre amount of approx. 300 bucks; and that was not provided. So I inquired. I was told that “only one of the above two discounts” was applicable and “I” have chosen the local mins one (It was only then that I got to know that I had supposedly chosen the local mins options. May be they had done a deal with me in my dreams or nightmare as you call it). As of now the talks are on, let’s see where it ends.
BTW there’s one more CSR initiative being undertaken by the company. They are providing switching signals (switching on/off at the frequency of 1 switching every 2 mins) in my area. This reduces continuous exposure to EM radiations and hence keeps the exposure under control. The way it works is that whenever you make a call or receive one, within 2-3 minutes the call gets disconnected. You dial again, it disconnects again. And out of frustration you have to limit an half hour talk to 4 or 5 two minutes call.
I was happy with the prepaid connection and then I applied logic of time value of money.

My Grievances: Part I-"Shahar ka Bank"

Following is a piece of letter that I would love to write to the CEO of “Shahar ka Bank”-Name changed because I love to do so :) and yeah there is this extra thrill for readers (yes you!!!) to discover the correct name.
(The deep-down emotions/grievances are included in brackets.)

The letter goes here:

TO,

.......CEO,

.......“Shahar ka Bank”

Sir,

This is to bring to your kind notice that how good the customer service of your bank has been. I believe your bank churns out good profits every year. And during my recent experience with your bank I have unearthed “the best practise” that you have been following to turn red bottom line to green.

During my college days I was given this Credit Card that carried no charges for the first two years; as a promotion offer. And being an extremely opportunist person (WARNING!!! High Sarcasm Detected) I could not resist that offer.

I got the Credit Card in a few days and along with it came all the “GOOD” things in the world. The card was supposed to carry my photograph, but I think the photo pasting guy at your company did not quite like my face and hence he obliged me with a photo of some random guy. That was quite helpful of him and I offer my heartiest thanks to him (Extreme Sarcasm Alert!). And now since that photo of mine that I had submitted is of no use to the company, can I please get that back. Or may be the photo pasting guy is planning for another photo edit. In that kindly suggest him to pardon my photo.

(The twist in the story goes here) That was the start of really adventurous ride. As a policy of your bank to provide total health comfort, (Wait! This was a bank when I last checked!!!) I was provided with a random health insurance policy. Some 1400 bucks were charged to my account. I think it’s a commitment your bank to care for the health of the customer as well (along with wealth). Very concerned Bank indeed!

Some days later I got a call from some guy telling me about all the good things your bank does. That person also mentioned about the health policy and I, out of my total negligence for health, denied subscribing to the service (WARNING!!! Yeah, again that sarcasm one). It was confirmed on the phone that the policy is reversed. So I was a happy soul. (And equally happy was the bank, as I would later on get to know that the policy still remained in my account)

All during this, I was getting a monthly letter from the bank at my home address. There was a mention of outstanding amount second month onwards. And so my father got worried. I kept convincing him that the amount is wrongly accounted and would be cleared subsequently. (IMPORTANT: Always listen to you father, if you don’t then the following has to follow)

2-3 months passed. Now as your bank has a very good policy of reminding its customers frequently through letter mails and emails, I was constantly in track of the outstanding amount which remained around 1400 rupees all this while.

So one fine day I wrote to the bank about the policy that I didn’t subscribed to and in plain simple words explained that their business in my college would get seriously affected if they continued to bother about my health (WARNING!!! Yup, sarcasm strikes again). So a cool dude from the other end replied, immediately, that the amount is being reversed. Me a happy soul again and so was your bank. But how?

Your people did a nice trick. They had bundled one more policy along with the health policy and now that policy remained in my account.

I tried reaching to them about the outstanding but after 4-5 transfer of calls I used to end up being ON HOLD. So me being an extremely “kanjoos” (readers can help me with the English translationJ) guy, stopped trying. As it had already cost me around half the amount that I was supposed to pay and I hoped that one day your bank will realise the mistake and close the account.

Also somewhere during all this I applied for discontinuing the credit card service. Don’t know when, but your bank did listen to me; only after some 100 rupees worth of phone calls were made.

In the meanwhile I lost my wallet during a train travel. So, the card was lost and unfortunately (Yeah that WARNING again!) the card blocked.

So now the story stands at- some 300 outstanding on my card which I lost and got blocked and which I have applied for closing and got to know subsequently that it was closed.

Around 18 months had passed by now since my subscribing to the card and then I met two of my friends who told me about CIBIL. So I got a little worried because you will be sending the “very good credit history” that I have with your bank to CIBIL and would never mention the “equally good customer service” that you provide. I again spent some money on the phone calls to know the exact details as of date. I was told that some 350 rupees were outstanding. But, thankfully (IMPORTANT- No sarcasm here), the account was finally closed. I was told to pay the outstanding and clear the account.

But you must know have known me; 350 bucks! never! So I inquired further and was told to mail about the issue. I wrote a mail explaining the details. A self-generated mail came saying the good guys would respond in 3 working days. And 3 days hence I got a glossy mail stating that the amount outstanding is on account of a health policy (it was here that I got to about the second policy of the bundle!), some amount was charged for cancelling the earlier health policy and further some amount for interest charges.

So, I replied in “sweet” words that I never wanted the “health benefit” since I am extremely irresponsible towards my health and hence reverse the policy. Now the self- generated mail asked me to wait for 5 days. Five days passed by but no reply came. So, I again mailed with the sweetest words in the world and lo! a reply came on the same day stating that all the amounts have been reversed.

Such a concerned bank for world health! It should get funds from W.H.O. for its support for improving health standards.

BTW, the profit that can be generated though this CSR activity is enormous. So the bank has a potential of churning out around 300-400 bucks from every card holder. If the customer is very “dheeth” (again, translation please!)then also the bank can gain something by tying up with the telecom company on account of customer care facility which is not toll-free.

So overall even if they manage to convert 10% of around 50 lakh card holders they can easily make 20 crores/year of PBT!!!

Yours NOT SO Sincerely
IKNALOS